Crossways University

Love: Live the Dream

2011-01-17T12:15:00.001-06:00

"Modern psychology recognizes what Jesus taught centuries ago: hate divides the personality and love in an amazing and inexorable way unites it...By its very nature, hate destroys and tears down; by its very nature, love creates and builds up. Love transforms with redemptive power." - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Options for Decisions and Good Judgment

2010-07-09T13:08:00.000-05:00

"By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me." - Jesus

"You ultimately have to live with your decision your going to make, and you have to do what's best for you, for your family, and for you to ultimately be happy." - Lebron James

I love watching Lebron James play basketball. He truly has talents that are unmatched in his sport. Last night I "witnessed" him on ESPN declare that he was going to play for the Miami Heat next season. I also noticed something else that's quite common in our society today. He suggested that he based his decision ultimately on his desire to be happy. Certainly, that's one decision making process that many people use today. Unfortunately, there's one important flaw in that type of thinking. In his award winning book, Stumbling on Happiness, Dr. Daniel Gilbert of Harvard University proves emperically that we humans aren't very good at predicting that which will make us happy in the future. In fact, the majority of the time, we're dead wrong.

For his and his family's sake, I wish Lebron James peace and happiness in the future. Yet, I think it's good for all of us to analyze more closely the foundational thought processes we use to make decisions in life. In his classic, Strength to Love, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr wrote, "The end of life is not to be happy nor to achieve pleasure and avoid pain, but to do the will of God, come what may."

Foundational Thinking

2010-05-19T21:38:00.000-05:00

"The object of opening the mind, as of opening the mouth, is to shut it again on something solid." - G. K. Chesterton

To Think or Not To Think?

2010-05-14T20:26:00.000-05:00

"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity…Never must the church tire of reminding men that they have a moral responsibility to be intelligent.” - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Humility or Bust

2010-05-01T09:33:00.000-05:00

"If anyone would like to acquire humility, I can, I think, tell him the first step. The first step is to realize that one is proud. And a biggish step, too. At least, nothing whatever can be done before it. If you think you are not conceited, it means that you are very conceited indeed.” – C. S. Lewis

New Website for 2010

2010-02-18T21:17:00.000-06:00

Crossways Counseling & Consulting is pleased to announce that a new website is in store for 2010 that will enhance our ability to serve our clients and the public as well. Stay tuned for more news, but enjoy the sneak preview.

No One's Perfect: Grace Abounds

2008-10-05T13:47:00.010-05:00

Some of you may have heard that an NFL referee, Ed Hochuli, recently made a mistake at a crucial time in an NFL game involving the San Diego Chargers and Denver Broncos that influenced the eventual outcome of the game. Earlier this year in an ESPN poll, Hochuli had been voted one of the top two referees in all of the NFL by the NFL coaches themselves. What some of you may not have heard is that the referee took complete responsibility for his mistake, apologized to the Chargers and their fans, and vowed to personally respond to every angry e-mail sent to him. Unfortunately, he apparently even received death threats from some irate, over-the-top fans. A friend of mine was touched by this story and gave me permission to share an e-mail he sent to Mr. Hochuli along with Mr. Hochuli's response. I think you'll find it well worth your time to read. Their correspondence was as follows (I've changed my friend's name to Drew to protect his identity): Dear Ed, I’ve read a few articles about the game last weekend and heard you’ve been getting some rough e-mails from some upset fans. I also heard that you were personally responding to all of those e-mails. Hence, I simply wanted to let you know what a class act I think you are. We’ve never met, but I’ve watched you work many games on TV over the years. As I trust we’ve both heard before, the true character of a man is measured not in how he handles prosperity but in how he responds to adversity. I was taught the nine most difficult words to say for many folks are also the nine most important words to say in relationships; “I was wrong, I am sorry, please forgive me.” Ed, you’re in my prayers and I simply wanted you to hear from one football fan that your character is measuring up phenomenally well during this time of adversity. No one is perfect, but how you’ve handled yourself since your honest mistake, with class and dignity, is a model for us all. Three and a half years ago, my father was on his death bed dying of cancer. He and I were very close and we knew this would likely be our last intelligible conversation before he passed away. The last words my father said to me before the Lord took him home were, quoting the philosopher G. K. Chesterton, “The comedy of life will always out survive the tragedy of life.” Obviously that wasn’t a humorous moment for either one of us, nor is your current situation. I’m sure the paradoxical irony and meaning behind his message to me, and now to you, is not lost on you. I simply wanted you to know that there are fans out there who respect you more than we did a week ago. No one is perfect, and as a lifelong Cowboy fan, I’ve seen Norv Turner make more than one mistake in his career. As for me, thanks for modeling for our society how to handle adversity; with dignity, class, humility, and respect. You’ll remain in my prayers. Best wishes to you. - Drew

Yours is a very touching email, Drew, and I thank you for that. Thank you for sharing a piece of your life, and especially the last words of your father. I do very much appreciate it. All my best. - Ed King Solomon once scribed, "An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up." Consider saying something uplifting to someone today with no alterior motive. Imagine what a loving, Jesus-like, world that would look like if love were ablaze? Are you ready for some LIFE football?

Getting Out of Your Boat: Paradox Abounds

2008-10-05T00:45:00.014-05:00

In these challenging times , it seems many are tempted to swing reactively in their thinking from an Eeyore-like "we're doomed" mentality to an opposite view such as, "everything's perfect exactly the way it is." Although it's helpful to remind ourselves of individual differences, it's wise for all of us to expand our support system to help us get an honest assessment of how we're REALLY doing. King Solomon wrote, "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but in the multitude of counselors they succeed." You may be sinking in your boat of life because you're feeling overwhelmed with life stressors, or you fear failure so much you refuse to take any risks in life, or you're oblivious of the fact that your spouse, children, or friends are miserable because what's perfect for you is actually hurtful to them. Regardless of your life circumstances, THERE IS HOPE. Some wise solution-focused therapists made a lot of money years ago on two basic concepts; (1) If you're doing something that's not working, try something new, and (2) if you're doing something that's working, do more of it. Regardless of one's economic, relational, emotional, physical, spiritual state (or pretty much any other word ending with "al"), become quicker to listen to what others whom you trust are saying. Maybe you think your boat is full of water, maybe you don't. Regardless, paradoxically your boat will sink if you don't listen to the warning signs from your loved ones and/or their words of encouragement. Should you listen to their calls, perhaps you will be heeding your Lord's call toward a better tomorrow. We're relational, sensitive creatures who weren't designed to live alone. After all, one of the worst things we can ever say to someone else going through a tough time is "it could be worse." Yet, one of the best things we can ever say to ourselves going through a tough time is "it could be worse." Paradoxical news and the Good News of God's grace abound!